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July 14, 2009
So the other day, my neighbor, kind amazing raised eight children has a weed free farm garden, been the mayor of Orem–kinda hurt my feelings. She invited my children to play in their irrigation water, and when another girl whom she invited asked if Milly was going into kindergarten, and I told her she’d be doing homeschool, the girl replied “Thats cool.” Well, the amazing, wonderful neighbor said emphatically, “No. That is NOT cool.”
I was quite stupefied and had nothing to say…awkward silence type thing. The next day, as it was bothering me, I read some great scriptures and realized that usually if someone has an ill judgment of you, it is quite probable that they just don’t truly understand, either your perspective, the situation, your intent, etc.
Well, I think its funny, because ever since this point, instead of feeling pressure to be extremely normal and accepted, it seems I have now the permission to be myself. I think, “Well, I seem wierd to her already, might as well just be myself. I can’t possibly change to what I am supposed to be for her or anyone else, so might as well continue on just how I want to be! From that day, I have felt more free to just be who I am and not worry how others perceive me. For ill or for good.
Today has been one of those days where my soul has been clouded with anxieties. I prayed to the Lord to appease my soul. I read this scripture, and it brought me true peace:
Doctrine and Covenants
8 Organize yourselves; aprepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a bhouse of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of corder, a dhouse of God;
9 That your aincomings may be in the name of the Lord, that your outgoings may be in the name of the Lord, that all your salutations may be in the name of the Lord, with uplifted hands unto the Most High—
Also, I remembered the scripture I shared with Riley this morning before he went to work:
“ 10 Seek not to be acumbered…”
In the footnootes, cumbered refers you to Martha, who was careful and troubled over many things, but one thing was needful, and Mary had chosen that good part.
It is interesting that it says not to seek to be cumbered. Why we sometimes seek feelings rather than peace is a whole new can of worms, but I sought and felt peace at this point knowing I had just me to worry about. Today managing me has been hard enough, but I need certainly not cumber myself with other feelings of others, which is not my business. Straighten out me, make sure my actions and thoughts are aright, thats my only concern.
My mother in law once told me that what other people think of me, is not my business. That is something very hard to master, but its so true. For the rest of the day, I will let the Lord bring my own house, (body) and my home, peace, like I feel right now. 
I have but one home to worry over, and one person in that home to control, (others only to guide and steer) but control only–myself.
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Oh sorry Emily. That sucks. I can’t believe someone would say that you know.
I’ve had some really good conversations about home schooling with Katie.
I know I could do it and all.
If any of my kids were being bullied or weren’t getting what they should out of school I’d have no hesitation.
As it is I think I’m going to school Masaru and Yuki when they turn 5 till they start kindergarten as NZ starts kids at full time school when they’re 5.
Mum’s given me lots of great ideas and I have many from my own schooling and resourses. I’m going to start Masaru every morning next march when he turns 5. I’m so excited.
If you learn anything from this, learn not to judge others and to say things like this that would or could offend.
I hope you have a great day just being yourself
Comment by Melissa — July 14, 2009 @ 4:19 pm
Melissa,
Its so true, that judging does hurt, and I hope that I can remember how I felt and be a little bit better at not doing the same. If we truly understood another’s perspective, we would be far more inclined to kindness and acceptance I would imagine. Hope you have SOOO much fun with Masaru and Yuki, being their main educators is what we are if we public, private or homeschool, and I know you’ll be and are awesome w/ them!
Comment by emily — July 16, 2009 @ 11:54 am