July 16, 2009

Studying this morning, I realize my post from yesterday needs some balance.  And it is the most delicate balance of all.  Part of keeping our own ‘house’ in order, is to love and serve others.  But to love and serve, without infringing on other’s agency, can sometimes be such a difficult line to walk.

As President Monson, prophet of this dispensation teaches, we are our brother’s keeper.  Not in charge of other’s actions, and choices, yet still he explains it is our privledge to love and serve them.

My Brother’s Keeper

President Thomas S. Monson

“Joy turns to sadness as we learn of Abel’s tragic death at the hands of his brother Cain. Chapters of counsel, lessons for living, guidance from God are found in one brief verse: “And the Lord said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Gen. 4:9.)…

In the touching account of the good Samaritan, Jesus teaches vividly the interpretation of the lesson, “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (Matt. 19:19.) Answered effectively is the haunting question, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”….

An entire vista of opportunity is unfolded to our view when we contemplate the magnitude of King Benjamin’s admonition, recorded in the Book of Mormon: “When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.” (Mosiah 2:17.)…

Let us for a moment join Captain Edward Martin and the handcart company he led. While we will not feel the pangs of hunger which they felt or experience the bitter cold that penetrated their weary bodies, we will emerge from our visit with a better appreciation of hardship borne, courage demonstrated, and faith fulfilled. We will witness with tear-filled eyes a dramatic answer to the question “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

“The handcarts moved on November 3 and reached the river, filled with floating ice. To cross would require more courage and fortitude, it seemed, than human nature could muster. Women shrank back and men wept. Some pushed through, but others were unequal to the ordeal.

“ ‘Three eighteen-year-old boys belonging to the relief party came to the rescue; and to the astonishment of all who saw, carried nearly every member of that ill-fated handcart company across the snow-bound stream. The strain was so terrible, the exposure so great, that in later years all the boys died from the effects of it. When President Brigham Young heard of this heroic act, he wept like a child, and later declared publicly, “That act alone will ensure C. Allen Huntington, George W. Grant, and David P. Kimball an everlasting salvation in the Celestial Kingdom of God, worlds without end.” ’ ” (LeRoy R. Hafen and Ann W. Hafen, Handcarts to Zion, Glendale, Calif.: The Arthur H. Clark Co., 1960, pp. 132–33.)

Our service to others may not be so dramatic, but we can bolster human spirits, clothe cold bodies, feed hungry people, comfort grieving hearts, and lift to new heights precious souls.

Junius Burt of Salt Lake City, a longtime worker in the Streets Department, related a touching and inspirational experience. He declared that on a cold winter morning, the street cleaning-crew of which he was a member was removing large chunks of ice from the street gutters. The regular crew was assisted by temporary laborers who desperately needed the work. One such wore only a lightweight sweater and was suffering from the cold. A slender man with a well-groomed beard stopped by the crew and asked the worker, “You need more than that sweater on a morning like this. Where is your coat?” The man replied that he had no coat to wear. The visitor then removed his own overcoat, handed it to the man and said, “This coat is yours. It is heavy wool and will keep you warm. I just work across the street.” The street was South Temple. The Good Samaritan who walked into the Church Administration Building to his daily work and without his coat was President George Albert Smith of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. His selfless act of generosity revealed his tender heart. Surely he was his brother’s keeper…

“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

“But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Matt. 6:19–21.)…

We have no way of knowing when our privilege to extend a helping hand will unfold before us. The road to Jericho each of us travels bears no name, and the weary traveler who needs our help may be one unknown. Altogether too frequently, the recipient of kindness shown fails to express his feelings, and we are deprived of a glimpse of greatness and a touch of tenderness that motivates us to go and do likewise…..

The desire to help another, the quest for the lost sheep, may not always yield success at once. On occasion progress is slow—even indiscernible. Such was the experience of my longtime friend Gil Warner. He was serving as a newly called bishop when “Douglas,” a member of his ward, transgressed and was deprived of his Church membership. Father was saddened; Mother was totally devastated. Douglas soon thereafter moved from the state. The years hurried by, but Bishop Warner, now a member of a high council, never ceased to wonder what had become of Douglas.

In 1975, I attended the stake conference of the Parleys stake and held a priesthood leadership meeting early on the Sunday morning. I spoke of the Church discipline system and the need to labor earnestly and lovingly to rescue any who had strayed. Gil Warner asked to speak and then outlined the story of Douglas. He concluded with the question, “Who has the responsibility to work with Douglas and bring him back to Church membership?” Gil advised me later that my response to his question was direct and given without hesitation: “It is your responsibility, Gil, for you were his bishop, and he knew you cared.”

Unbeknownst to Gil Warner, Douglas’s mother had, the previous week, fasted and prayed that a man would be raised up to help save her son. Gil discovered this when he felt prompted to call her to report his determination to be of help.

Gil began his odyssey of redemption. Douglas was contacted by him. Old times, happy times, were remembered. Testimony was expressed, love was conveyed, and confidence instilled. The pace was excruciatingly slow. Discouragement frequently entered the scene; but, step by step, Douglas made headway. At long last prayers were answered, efforts rewarded, and victory attained. Douglas was approved for baptism.

The baptismal date was set, family members gathered, and former bishop Gil Warner flew to Seattle for the occasion. Can we appreciate the supreme joy felt by Bishop Warner as he, dressed in white, stood with Douglas in water waist-deep and, raising his right arm to the square, repeated those sacred words, “Having been commissioned of Jesus Christ, I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.” (D&C 20:73.)

He that was lost was found. A 26-year mission, marked by love and pursued with determination, had been successfully completed. Gil Warner said to me, “This was one of the greatest days of my life. I know the joy promised by the Lord when He declared, ‘And if it so be that you should labor all your days … and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!’ ” (D&C 18:15.)

Were the Lord to say to Gil Warner today, as He said to Adam’s son long years ago, “Where is Douglas, thy brother?” Bishop Warner could reply, “I am my brother’s keeper, Lord. Behold Douglas, thy son.”…

My quest is to “Mind My Own Business” so to speak, in Minding only what God thinks, and those speaking with the Holy Spirit of God.  (1 Nephi 6:5 Wherefore, the things which are ^apleasing unto the world I do not write, but the things which are pleasing unto God and unto those who are not of the world. ) But then to Keep As My Business, and in ordering my own ‘house’, My Brothers, to Be My Brother’s Keeper, with out interferring with their agency, not to control, but to love, and to serve in the ways they need, and in the manner that uplifts them….And in fact, it is my prayer today that I might love those around me, no matter what they think of me, perceive my motives to be, or if they are indifferent or even abivilant towards me.  The Lord will help me to love by his divine grace.  And then I will find great joy and peace of mind.

July 14, 2009

So the other day, my neighbor, kind amazing raised eight children has a weed free farm garden, been the mayor of Orem–kinda hurt my feelings.  She invited my children to play in their irrigation water, and when another girl whom she invited asked if Milly was going into kindergarten, and I told her she’d be doing homeschool, the girl replied “Thats cool.”  Well, the amazing, wonderful neighbor said emphatically, “No.  That is NOT cool.”

I was quite stupefied and had nothing to say…awkward silence type thing.  The next day, as it was bothering me, I read some great scriptures and realized that usually if someone has an ill  judgment of you, it is quite probable that they just don’t truly understand, either your perspective, the situation, your intent, etc.

Well, I think its funny, because ever since this point, instead of feeling pressure to be extremely normal and accepted, it seems I have now the permission to be myself.  I think, “Well, I seem wierd to her already, might as well just be myself.  I can’t possibly change to what I am supposed to be for her or anyone else, so might as well continue on just how I want to be!  From that day, I have felt more free to just be who I am and not worry how others perceive me.  For ill or for good.

Today has been one of those days where my soul has been clouded with anxieties.  I prayed to the Lord to appease my soul.  I read this scripture, and it brought me true peace:

Doctrine and Covenants

8 Organize yourselves; ^aprepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a ^bhouse of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of ^corder, a ^dhouse of God;

9 That your ^aincomings may be in the name of the Lord, that your outgoings may be in the name of the Lord, that all your salutations may be in the name of the Lord, with uplifted hands unto the Most High—

Also, I remembered the scripture I shared with Riley this morning before he went to work:

D&C 66: 10

“ 10 Seek not to be ^acumbered…”

In the footnootes, cumbered refers you to Martha, who was careful and troubled over many things, but one thing was needful, and Mary had chosen that good part.

It is interesting that it says not to seek to be cumbered.  Why we sometimes seek feelings rather than peace is a whole new can of worms, but I sought and felt peace at this point knowing I had just me to worry about.  Today managing me has been hard enough, but  I need certainly not cumber myself with other feelings of others, which is not my business.  Straighten out me, make sure my actions and thoughts are aright, thats my only concern.

My mother in law once told me that what other people think of me, is not my business.  That is something very hard to master, but its so true.  For the rest of the day, I will let the Lord bring my own house, (body) and my home, peace, like I feel right now.

I have but one home to worry over, and one person in that home to control, (others only to guide and steer) but control only–myself.

July 6, 2009

I realized that I only post when I have had bad moments on this blog, which I wonder if could be somewhat depressing, and not very telling of all the joy and good that my days encompass.  This negative posting, is because in my struggles, I write in my journal, and God teaches me, and then, for further accountability and growth, I post my feelings on this my accountability blog.  Many joyful moments, countless triumphs, are not celebrated and recorded.  On my run, it occurred to me, that the cycle that I go through is indeed the pride cycle which is identified through out scriptures.  Modern apostle Russel M. Ballard, explains why this pride cycle can be identified through sacred books in his talk, Learning the Lessons of the Past, Ensign 2009:

“You don’t have to be a Latter-day Saint—you don’t even have to be religious—to see the repeating pattern of history in the lives of God’s children as recorded in the Old Testament. Time and again we see the cycle of righteousness followed by wickedness. Similarly, the Book of Mormon records that ancient civilizations of this continent followed exactly the same pattern: righteousness followed by prosperity, followed by material comforts, followed by greed, followed by pride, followed by wickedness and a collapse of morality until the people brought calamities upon themselves sufficient to stir them up to humility, repentance, and change.”

For my own journey with the pride cycle, I realize that a difficult circumstance arises that I don’t handle well.  Here in I turn gravely to the Lord in penitant repentance, and faithful pleadings for help to change.  I then experience a period of magnified help and gifted patience, while I exercise focused repeated petitionings, with faith etc.  Then, after things start to go really well, I begin to feel that the patience and skills come naturally, and I forget to petition Him so consistently, or at least as penitently.  It is then that I fall once more and realize that am utterly dependent on Him in my life.

To avoid the fall of the pride cycle, Russel M. Ballard invites us to study humbly the teachings of the Lord.

“Our Heavenly Father loves all of His children, and He wants them all to have the blessings of the gospel in their lives. Spiritual light is not lost because God turns His back on His children. Rather, spiritual darkness results when His children turn their collective backs on Him. It is a natural consequence of bad choices made by individuals, communities, countries, and entire civilizations. This has been proven again and again throughout the course of time. One of the great lessons of this historical pattern is that our choices, both individually and collectively, do result in spiritual consequences for ourselves and for our posterity….

With all my heart I hope and pray that you will be wise enough to learn the lessons of the past. You don’t have to spend time as a Laman or a Lemuel in order to know that it’s much better to be a Nephi or a Jacob. You don’t have to follow the path of Cain or Gadianton in order to realize that “wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10). And you don’t have to allow your community to become like Sodom or Gomorrah in order to understand that it isn’t a good place to raise a family.

Learning the lessons of the past allows you to walk boldly in the light without running the risk of stumbling in the darkness.”

For me, keeping remembrance in the forefront of my mind has to come from more than just reading the scriptures, but reading the scriptures with an attitude that the words will rescue me in the truth they bring.  I have to become as Paul, and remember that the thorn in my side, so to speak, is not given for me to fall, but to instead remember that I need Him, and to be able to have access to his grace. ( 2 Cor 12:7-9)  7 And lest I should be ^aexalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a ^bthorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.  8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.  9 And he said unto me, My ^agrace is sufficient for thee: for my ^bstrength is made perfect in ^cweakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may ^drest upon me.”

Lately, as I have felt weak I have thought on this scripture, written by Paul. Romans 5:3-5 ” And not only so, but we glory in ^atribulations also: knowing that ^btribulation worketh ^cpatience;  4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:  5 And ^ahope maketh not ashamed; because the ^blove of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”   Thinking on this scripture has helped me to hang on to patience with the hope it will bring me confidence in the Lord.  It has helped immensely.

When shopping at a local thrift store, I saw a cute little book.  After I picked it up, I realized that it was an Al-Anon book with a daily quote to read to keep one in the right way.  I felt that the spirit had sent it to me, to read a small quote each day, though I have no struggle with alcohol, to remind me gently that my weakness is with me each day and that I must depend on the Lord.

Also, an extremely helpful thing to do which has helped keep me in the light, and far from falling in my temper, has been to follow Apostle Eyring’s bidding, to write down even a snippet each day of how the Lord’s hand has been witnessed in my life.  Sometimes, I write down a darling thing my child has said, sometimes I write down an amazing way that the Lord has had a hand in my life, and most often how His Hand has woven quite naturally a teaching, a blessing, a gift, or a help, natural, but still amazing if aknowledged and discerned.  Usually, I think I will remember, but when I don’t write it down, the event can be lost from memory from anywhere of a day, to a week.  Following Elder Eyring’s admonition has been a poweful way for me to deeply remember that I need my Savior and his guiding Love and Help through out every day and has enhanced even my sleep as I fall to sleep with a content and grateful heart in remembering his help, even in trial, for me to grow and be happy.

“Tonight, and tomorrow night, you might pray and ponder, asking the questions: Did God send a message that was just for me? Did I see His hand in my life or the lives of my children? I will do that. And then I will find a way to preserve that memory for the day that I, and those that I love, will need to remember how much God loves us and how much we need Him. I testify that He loves us and blesses us, more than most of us have yet recognized. I know that is true, and it brings me joy to remember Him. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. Oh Remember, Remember: Ensign 2007, Henry B. Eyring.